Posts Tagged i
My mind scattered just like the leaves by the window. Drifted..
I got so much worries these few days. The things I’ve done been so reckless. I simulated things so thoroughly, so deeply, even my self got in to it and can’t get lost of it. I simulated the possibilities could happen for what I was going to do. I said this to someone, that some of my simulation got into real world. My unconcious mind captured the X-es factors. But yet, although it was a very small chance of good result, I still did it. No regrets actually, It was about choice.
And the last thing I did was angry with my brother for loosing my SIM card there in my home. I just can’t figure it out how can that thing disappeared. Why didn’t he put it in the safe place, rather than carrying it at the back of his phone. However, everything just happened, it is all has been destined. There is still hope to get a new card, may my brother can do it well.
And so.. here I am, not as sad as yesterday. Somehow I cried for me and someone. I cried just because I can’t say what should be said. I just wanna say..
“Let us be friend.. A good friend if you will”
Just that, be a friend. It is a great lost loosing friend as her. She is too precious for me. I won’t ask for things she can’t give, I ask only my presence. Just like we used to be.
Maybe there is nothing we can talk about. I understand.
I understand by the way she behaves everyday, yes.. she doesn’t want me to go near her and tried to convince me to stop pursuing or hoping. Yes, I will. I will behave as before, as a friend. And I will stop hoping for her. Yes, I will.
So please, behave naturally, and so I will.
Thank you very much, maybe you are still willing to read this blog.
I see a bright clue there. I see the light. I see her..
And so, I said it.. to her. I woke from the dream, and face the reality. And her.. It was the point where something is being a burden.. I don’t know exactly, but the burden pushes her.. And the moment i said the words to her, maybe not the right moment.
I’m sorry, but I have to say it. I do not want to regret in the future of not telling the truth. As the time pass by, the rain will wipe all the dirt covering our heart. And we can see each others’ clearly. Because all I’ve said is from the heart.
However, what I understand is you need sometimes to overcome the problems. That’s the only thing I think I understand. I’m sorry if it is not the right thing.
I will wait.. please tell me what I can do to help. please..
An epilogue will be an opening.. I’m entering the same dream now..
She looked cute in that round eye glasses today. She always looks cute to me.
I just heard that she is still available. My heart trembled.. All I thought of her was wrong. I’m sorry for not being sensitive about it.
Her existence roots into my heart. I love her at the fullest. I wanna be with her.
I need to tell her how much I yearn her.
Dear ****, are you alone?
Would you be my love?
Really hard to say those words..
We said it truly but hard to make them really understand about it. 😦